This is mine, not yours. It belongs to me, not to you. As a kid we fought for things that we thought were ours. Remember saying this is my pencil or my chocolate? Or dad buying things and saying they were yours? It all started there. That ‘belonging’ syndrome. From pencils to properties to people, we assume they belong to us. My home, my bed, my bag, my friend, my wife, my children etc.
I obviously lost my first pencil. After which I would have bought hundreds more. All those hundreds of pencils did not belong to me. They were just tools I had to use. Yet I was under an assumption that they were mine and felt bad when I lost them. But now as a grown up girl I don’t have an attachment towards things as small as pencils. I still lose them, but it doesn’t make me feel bad. Instead losing a phone, losing a job, or losing any relationship would make me sad now. Because I feel attached to them. I feel they are mine.
Things are mine only as long as I assume they are mine. Once I’m aware that nothing belongs to me, neither my own perishable body, losing things won’t cause much bitterness. Material pursuits are important in life. But why run after ‘owning’ every small and big thing? Only to regret their loss?
If we eliminate that belongingness life becomes easier. Don’t be attached to things. It does not imply being careless or negligent about what you have earned or bought. It’s about being aware enough to not to be overly disappointed at their loss or be extra protective. I don’t think we can apply this to people because not being attached to them is humanly not possible. In fact it makes much more sense in loving people than things. Because relationships are any day valuable, as only they can lift you up when you’re down and can make you smile. Not things of course. But yes, it is essential to discern who are possibly your well wishers and who are not. It is important to be aware of who deserves your care and attention, and who do not.
I know all this is good to say, read, or write. It takes a lot of will and inner strength to limit that material belonging. But when life itself is temporary, why complicate it with unnecessary attachments?